The diary is an art form just as much as the novel or the play. The diary simply requires a greater canvas.
~ Henry Miller

what happened today was just a load of jazz. literally. i'm not a fan of any particular genre of music, what i listen to depends on my mood really. recently i've been playing alot of oldies... haha. i've taken a liking to jazz, too. funny. i've never really listened to jazz much before... hmm... oh wells. i guess i've been doing alot of reflection lately and i appreciate its soothing sounds... anyway its hard to think when some hyperventilating punk's screaming bloody murder. frankly though my taste for music has never exceeded the middle range of the decibel-o-meter. jazz's twinkly, i think. like stars :) pop and rnb's getting tackier nowadays. like i loved tlc and destiny's child's older albums, but now beyonce and kelly rowland's music's so booby-trapped by commercialism. urgh. pardon the pun. like beyonce's crazy in love vid that's been on tv a gazillion times... its such an in-your-face hear-hear-i-sing-great-but-check-out-my-hotpants-more kinda thing. i'm no music guru or some rabid anti pop activist, but sometimes i feel sick when i find more cheese on tv than on a pizza. like this new tv show on channel u (there're loads more, believe me, but this' one of the latest i think). i didnt bother to note the title. the producers probably thought it was funny to play up local stereotypes. i thought it was perverse. practically national masochism. like it made me feel so disgusted to be singaporean. of course there was alot of character exaggeration involved, but live authentic prototypes arent that difficult to find on our sunny shores. i got to interact with some of them when i was doing my pw survey... eeps. sinagporeans can be a crude and uncivil bunch. i hope i wont end up like that. i just gave up my seat to three old folks in four days. am i being a contemptuous snob?? i'm no miss prim and proper myself, but sometimes i can't help being terribly appalled by certain aspects of the local culture. i just finished this book - mammon inc - by hwee hwee tan this morning. it echoed alot of my feelings. it was a really good read... i had borrowed it from the rj library thinking that i'd probably not finish it cos i wouldnt have the time to but i ended up waking up at 8 today to finish it so that life beyond reading it would not cease to function like the yesterday evening. she's so talented! hurray for local writers. i had only read catherine lim and roger pang before her, and i thought they were sucky. their novels were always so awkward, and unidentifiable with, even though the writers tried to impose all sorts of singaporeanny stuff on the reader. i got this really good quote from it:

"the best books are those that tell you what you already know" - george orwell in his novel 1984

how true.

i hope i dont waste away this weekend and the teachers' day holiday on monday. we had teachers' day celebrations today but i didnt go to school cos dr chan kept hinting tt he wasnt gonna take attendance. actually he announced that he wasnt gonna take attendance... while rambling his daily sutra comprising substantially of terms like "promos" and "close" and "study". and as usual i professionally wasted today. i'd like to think today's a buffer zone.. like i'm slowly getting the hang of making full use of my time during the next three days. wakeywakey vanessa.

i got married in pe shorts today!!! we were having pe when we saw this couple taking their wedding photos next to the field... how sweeeeeet is that??!! they were probably college sweethearts... awww..*sniffle* anyways since all us girls were like sighing and purring miss poon (trust her to think of that) suggested tt we go ask if we could be in the background of their photos... and we did!!! haha... we managed to arrange ourselves into this squiggly shape that might pass for a heart from a blind man's point of view. i was in the second row!! haha valeerie was so excited she plonked herself right in front like 2 mm behind the REAL bride. i cant believe in two years time rjc's gonna move to some other place. such a pity.... the present grounds may be ancient and stuck in an era of toiletpaperless loos but with all its cranky aircons it really was THE place of many beautiful memories shared by all who passed through its ghim moh gate... anyway my cousin's wedding's this sunday... haha wads with this week and marriage? i feel like getting married tomorrow.

ouch. my head still hurts. knocked it so hard this morning against my double decker bed my mom in the next room woke up. okay maybe it was mainly cos i screamed. i think our neighbours woke up too. anyways it was a bad knock and probably propelled half my brain cells out of my ears. and i think i got hammered into my shoulders by half a cm. i feel shorter.... i swear my feet look bigger today.

i'm so happy today!!! its another of those days when i just feel like the million bucks i dont actually have... tralala~ it all began when the clock struck 12 and tuesday became wednesday. see, wednesday's the shortest schoolday of the week, and looking forward to an end that u know'll come sooner than usual's a big morale booster, especially in the middle of an apparently 1hr 20min chinese lesson that stretches to ETERNITY. surprisingly jiangshi was so nice and smiley today! too bad youwei didnt come... haha. she actually let us off EARLY!! by 5 min. but STILL. :) haha she was so cunning! she didnt wanna let us know tt she was pleased with us for reaching class early today, so she sneaked off before the bell rang ... hohoho~ oh before that there was the icky bio test tt i fell asleep before i could study for :( but it wasnt so bad! experience tells me i'd fail, but i managed to put ink on paper! so proud of myself! i think i'm getting smarter. weeeee~ being seventeen rox.

val and i called mr james wong from continental today... he was so helpful... i take back all the meano things i thought about him when he got grumpy when i called to arrange the interview. val and i were so professional.. haha... anyways i'm glad our pw's finally taking shape. only just a few days ago it was this globby thing tt i couldnt stop fretting about. ahhhh. the sweet, sweet feeling of something done. i hope 'll continue to update my blog... haha. i've been meaning to write, but im just too piggy. the power of a good mood :) i changed my blog page tho. thought thursdaze's a pretty appropriate... since i'm always so blur. i'm always finding myself plonked in the middle of something. like a thursday. i think thursdays are funny. it's like they're just some day someone stuffed into the week to fill a void or something... neither here nor there.... haha

"Life is a long march through the night, surrounded by invisible foes, tortured by weariness and pain, towards a goal that few can hope to reach." - Bertrand Russell

the pessimistic nimrod. i like my cup half full. so shoot me. :)